Be Loud, Be Offensive, Be Proud

Hi friends!
For a second year in a row, I've really struggled with coming up with my annual Pride post. I think part of it is the general mood of the world right now, and part of is it that life simply gets away from all of us. 

Before I get into my thoughts on Pride this year, it's increasing value and necessity, and simply what it means to me, I figured I should probably give you an update on what has been happening in the life of this writer. 

If you've read previous blog posts, or follow me on my socials (Author Mark R Klinger), you know my husband is a Lutheran Pastor. Well, in September, he changed churches that he pastors. We left Northeast Philly and moved out to Chester County, PA. It's a great new place and we're so happy out here, but anyone who has moved from a house that you've lived in for nearly a decade knows, the simple act of moving is not without strife. The whole process is stressful but we're settling in and getting comfortable. Unfortunately though, that wasn't the end of our stress for 2024. 

Over Thanksgiving weekend, our doggo, Finnegan, started acting very strange. He wouldn't eat and drank very little. That Saturday we rushed Finn to the local emergency vet because he was wobbly when he walked and seemed a bit confused. The vet ran blood work and found elevated pancreatic enzymes. We don't actually know how high his enzymes were. He should have had somewhere around 200; his blood work showed 2,000 but the meter doesn't go above 2,000. As the vet said, it could be 2,001 or it could be 10,000. The vet diagnosed the Finn with pancreatitis, and he sent us home with a prescription food for him, and told us to call him on Monday with an update. By Saturday evening we were force feeding the dog. When we woke up on Sunday, Finnegan couldn't walk and was very confused. Even force feeding him, we couldn't get him to eat a single drop. We rushed him back to the vet on Monday morning. We saw a different, more experienced vet, who said that enzymes that high can only mean cancer that was end stage. We said goodbye to Finn that morning, holding him. Even writing about it now is difficult. 

Fast forwarding, 2025 hasn't seemed quite as difficult, but it hasn't been without its own stressors; but it's also had a lot of inspiration. I've started five brand new writing projects, the final Cryptids is nearly done, and I've had nebulous ideas for even more exciting things. The inspiration I've had this year has been incredible, and cathartic. In April, the idea hit me to write a book about a young man who attends a small, conservative, Christian school (surely I'm not working through something) who gets outted. It's been a wild ride and I was so tapped into the story, I knocked out the complete first draft in 43 days. Even though it still needs a good edit and re-write, I'm immensely proud of it and I can't wait to share it.

That story is a great way for me to move into Pride. Telling that story caused me to re-live some of my own trauma around my schooling. It also was a great reminder of just how important Pride is. It made me wonder how my own experience might have been if I'd have ever seen a Pride celebration, or even had positive representation of queer people. 

I can remember lying in bed at night for years, crying and praying to be fixed; it never occurred to me in my closed, fundamentalist world, that I wasn't broken, that I didn't need God to fix me. What would my formative experience look like if I'd had just a little bit of an example of positive gay people, or Pride. 

The thing is, Pride was a thing when I was growing up. It just wasn't on my radar because gays shouldn't have pride, only shame and repentance.

It took years to get over that damage, and to be completely honest, it still bubbles up from time to time. I remind myself that my religious trauma is where that comes from, not from truth. 

This is why Pride is so important; because even today, maybe especially today, kids are lying in bed, sobbing that they're broken, terrified of their families, their friends, their church finding out; certain that if God doesn't fix them, the only thing awaiting them is a miserable life and flames. 

Today, at least in the US, queer people are facing more attacks than we have in decades, especially our trans siblings. We keep hearing about 'normal gays'. In fact, earlier this month, a statement about suicide prevention said that LGB people deserve the same mental health care as everyone else. It's a statement by omission of who are people. LGB people are people (for now, at least) but trans people are explicitly left out. 

As a queer community, we need to stand like NATO, with Article V, an attack against one is an attack against all, because an attack on one group in our community is only the start. Next will be the so-called normal gays. 

Pride needs to be loud, it needs to be outrageous, and it needs to be visible. It needs to scream "no matter what you think of us, we're people and we aren't going away." It's the old cliche, 'we're here, we're queer, etc.' It needs to be loud because Pride has always been a protest, it's middle finger to those who would oppress us. It needs to be loud so that the queer kid crying and praying to be fixed can see that Pride is here, filled with a beautiful spectrum of people that fits all of us, however we fit into that queer umbrella. We're here, we're all people. 

Sure, some of those small people find our very existence offensive, as if somehow our existence takes something from them. It's time to be offensive, be loud, be visible, be outrageous. Tell those hateful people to go fuck themselves and with the same breath tell that kid in the middle of the country, praying to be straight, that they're not broken, that they are just who they are meant to be, that there is a place for them. 

If you're one of those people waiting to be fixed, with as loud a voice as I have, I tell you, you aren't broken. You are exactly who you're meant to be. Be proud. There is a community waiting for you. 

Above all, as always, remember:

You are seen; you are loved; you matter!